Okay so helping your dog overcome separation anxiety has been like the biggest headache and win at the same time for me these past months. Im sitting here in my apartment right now with Max finally passed out on his bed instead of glued to the door like before, but seriously it was rough. I work this hybrid thing now so some days im home some days not and he just lost it every time i grabbed my keys. Whining howling pacing the whole nine yards.
Why My Dogs Seperation Anxiety Got So Bad (and why i felt like total crap)
At first i thought he was just being dramatic you know? Like oh hes bored or spoiled. Nope. The drool puddles the ripped pillows the scratched up door frames… one time i came home and he was literally wedged under the couch shaking. My heart dropped i almost cried right there in the doorway. Turns out changes in routine plus him being super attached (guilty i spoil him rotten) made it worse. I read on the AKC site https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/dog-separation-anxiety/ that its real stress not bad behavior and yeah that hit home.
Heres the kinda face he used to make staring out the window waiting for me… kills me every time even now.
Spotting the Signs of Dog Separation Anxiety Before It Gets Worse
If your pup starts doing this stuff dont ignore it like i did for way too long:
- howling or barking the second you leave (my neighbors left a polite note lol)
- chewing only on doors and windows not random stuff
- pacing drooling or trying to escape like a little jailbreak artist
- accidents inside even though he knows better
- super clingy when youre home following you to the bathroom and everything
Max would sit by the door for hours. Id check the camera from work and just see him waiting looking so sad idk it made me feel awful.
Does Your Dog Hate You? Why Your Dog Continues to Destroy Your Things – Be The Boss Dog Training
And yeah this is close to what the destruction looked like more than once. Total mess i was so embarrassed.
The Real Steps I Took to Help My Dog Overcome Separation Anxiety (with tons of screw ups)
I tried the wrong stuff first like just leaving him longer thinking hed get used to it. Big no. Set us back weeks. Then i got serious talked to the vet read a bunch and did baby steps.
- super short absences at first – 30 seconds then back with treats for staying calm. Built up slow af
- made a safe den – crate with blankets and frozen kongs stuffed with peanut butter so he had something good to do
- tired him out before i left – long walks at the park near my place or fetch till he was pooped
- desensitized the leaving cues – jingle keys put on shoes give treat without actually going. Repeated till he stopped freaking
- calming stuff that kinda worked – thundershirt (he looked ridiculous but it helped) pheromone plug in and some vet chews
Sometimes id leave the radio on with those dog chill playlists but other times hed just ignore it and stare anyway.
Do ThunderShirts Work? We Ask the Experts and Put Them to the Test
Heres Max in his thundershirt phase looking kinda sleepy and calmer which was nice.
Stuff That Totally Didnt Work (real talk i almost quit)
That dominance trainer i hired? Waste of cash stressed us both. Cold turkey long leaves? Disaster. First anxiety wrap he chewed off in like five minutes. I had a night where i sat on the floor with him after a bad day and just vented out loud like he could understand.
If its really severe def talk to a vet or behaviorist. Mine mentioned meds but we skipped for now knock on wood. Good read from ASPCA here https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/common-dog-behavior-issues/separation-anxiety
Where We Are Now (still not perfect but way better)
These days Max can do 4-5 hours alone without destroying stuff. He still paces a bit when i grab my keys but he doesnt launch at me when i come home like a missile anymore. Tiny wins feel huge after all the chaos.
If youre trying to help your dog overcome separation anxiety right now just know it sucks but it gets better. Be patient with them and with yourself i wasnt at first and it showed. Start small celebrate the little stuff.
You going through this too? Tell me your stories in the comments i actually read every one and might steal your ideas haha. We got this.
(oh and heres one more for the hopeful ending vibe)
