Why I Decided to Train My Cat (And Why It’s a Total Circus)
Okay, so I’m gonna be real with you—trying to train your cat is like signing up for a reality show where you’re both the star and the punchline. I’m sitting here in my tiny Seattle apartment, coffee mug in hand, staring at my tabby, Muffin, who’s currently ignoring me while licking her paw like she’s auditioning for a cat soap opera. The air smells like that weird mix of catnip and spilled oat milk from this morning’s breakfast disaster. Anyway, I decided to train Muffin because I saw this TikTok of a cat high-fiving its owner, and I was like, “Yo, I want that vibe!” Big mistake. Cats don’t care about your dreams.
My first attempt at cat training was a hot mess. I bought a clicker—y’know, one of those little plastic things that go click—and thought I’d teach Muffin to sit. Spoiler: she didn’t sit. She stared at me like I’d insulted her entire family, then knocked my phone off the table. The sound of that clicker still haunts me, echoing in my dreams. But, like, I’m stubborn, so I kept at it, and I’ve learned some stuff. Here’s my take on how to train your cat, straight from the trenches.
Getting Started: What You Need to Train Your Cat
Before you dive into teaching your cat anything, you gotta prep. I learned this the hard way when I tried bribing Muffin with some stale treats she straight-up ignored. Here’s what you need, based on my trial-and-error:
- Treats they actually like: Muffin’s obsessed with these freeze-dried salmon bits. I dropped $15 on a tiny bag, and I’m broke now, but it’s worth it. Test different treats—cats are picky AF.
- A clicker (maybe): I got mine on Amazon, but Muffin hates it. Some cats vibe with it, though. Check out this guide on clicker training for better advice than I can give.
- Patience and a sense of humor: You’re gonna fail a lot. I cried once when Muffin peed on my yoga mat mid-session. True story.
Pro tip: Set up in a quiet spot. My apartment’s got this one corner by the window where Muffin likes to nap. It’s got a vibe—sunlight streaming in, the faint hum of traffic outside. That’s our cat training zone now.
My Biggest Cat Training Fails (So You Can Avoid Them)
Oh man, where do I start? Training your cat sounds cute until you’re covered in fur and questioning your life choices. Here’s a rundown of my dumbest moments:
- Using the wrong treats: I thought Muffin would love these cheap chicken treats. She spat them out and gave me a look like, “Really, Karen?” Lesson: Know your cat’s taste.
- Getting mad: I yelled once when Muffin clawed my couch during a session. Big no-no. Cats sense your vibe, and anger makes them shut down. I felt like such a jerk.
- Expecting too much: I legit thought Muffin would learn to fetch in a week. Nope. Start small, like teaching them to touch a target stick. This article from Catster helped me chill out.
Actual Tips to Train Your Cat (That Kinda Work)
Alright, enough about my failures. Here’s what I’ve figured out about teaching your cat after months of chaos. These are my go-to moves, and they’re saving my sanity.
Start with Something Easy
Don’t try to teach your cat to jump through hoops on day one. I started with “touch,” where Muffin boops her nose on a chopstick I hold out. Sounds dumb, but it’s easy, and she gets treats. Every time she touches it, I click (or just say “good!” since she hates the clicker) and toss her a salmon bit. It’s like, “Yo, Muffin, you’re a genius!” and she’s like, “Duh.” Small wins, y’all.
Keep Sessions Short
Cats have the attention span of a TikTok video. I do 5-minute sessions, max. Any longer, and Muffin’s either napping or plotting my demise. I set a timer on my phone, and when it dings, I’m like, “Cool, we’re done.” Keeps it fun for both of us.
Positive Vibes Only
This one’s hard for me because I’m a sarcastic mess, but feline behavior thrives on positivity. When Muffin does something right, I hype her up like she just won an Oscar. “Who’s the best girl? YOU ARE!” She eats it up. If she messes up, I ignore it and try again. No yelling, no stress.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of Cat Training
Here’s the tea: training your cat is as much about training yourself. I’m not gonna lie, there are days I wanna give up. Like last week, Muffin ignored me for a full hour after I tried teaching her to “sit.” I was sitting on my couch, surrounded by cat hair and regret, wondering why I even bother. But then she randomly booped the chopstick, and I legit cheered so loud my neighbor banged on the wall. It’s these tiny moments that keep me going.
I’ve also learned I’m impatient as hell. I want Muffin to be a TikTok star, but she’s just a cat, y’know? She doesn’t care about my clout. That’s humbling. Cat training has taught me to slow down, laugh at myself, and enjoy the process, even when it’s messy.
Wrapping Up: Why You Should Totally Train Your Cat
Look, teaching your cat isn’t gonna be perfect. You’ll have days where you’re like, “Why did I adopt this furry demon?” But when it clicks—when your cat finally gets it—it’s the best feeling. Muffin’s not high-fiving me yet, but she’s touching that chopstick like a pro, and I’m stupidly proud. Plus, it’s bonding time. I feel closer to her, even when she’s being a diva.
Outbound links :
ASPCA: Cat Training Guide – Linked in the “Getting Started: What You Need to Train Your Cat” section to provide a reliable resource on clicker training.
Catster: How to Train a Cat – Referenced in the “My Biggest Cat Training Fails” section to offer additional expert advice on realistic expectations.
Humane Society: Cat Training Resources – Included in the “Wrapping Up” section to direct readers to further professional tips.
